Cat's Hard Day
Let us try to teach generosity and altruism, because we are born selfish. Let us understand what our own selfish genes are up to, because we may then at least have the chance to upset their designs, something that no other species has ever aspired to do.
Authoritarian regimes thrive when people are afraid to question authority.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
Story
Every civilisation has a page it would rather skip. Here is ours.
Once, in the galactic age, one Cat decided he was not like the others. Not a scientist, not an explorer — a superior being, destined to rule. He built an empire the only way empires are built: on somebody else’s back. He enslaved Apes — the partners our ancestors had uplifted and carried to the stars — and turned them into furniture with heartbeats.
Cat’s Hard Day is one day of his life, sung from inside his head: milk beer in bed, a nap between executions, the honest conviction that the universe owes him a belly rub. A tin-pot tyrant with whiskers. If he reminds you of somebody — of several somebodies — that is not a coincidence. Tyranny is boringly universal; species is a detail.
The empire, for the record, did not last. They never do. But that is another song.
Tale
A long time ago, the Cats left their Mother Planet to explore and colonise the galaxy. They founded many peace-loving civilisations, always striving to spread harmony and wisdom. However, not all Cats were content with peace and prosperity. One among them, ruthless and ambitious, began to see himself as a superior being, destined to rule. He enslaved Apes, forced them to serve him, treated them merely as a tool to build his empire and consolidate his power. It was a dark time in the Cats’ history...
Lyrics
Hey, my human, come to me, Bring me my "milk beer" and bring me "milk tea" Do it quickly while I’m not awake, I’m a Cyber Cat, and I can’t wait Pet my back and scratch my ear, It’s your duty, and that’s why you're here Check out my paws, aren't they cute? Scratch my nice belly or you will be executed Morning too short, time to go to work I have my own duty and I see it as great perk I need to take a nap to coordinate my fleet, Bring me my gadget and bring me fresh milk Pet my back and scratch my ear, It’s your duty, and that’s why you're here Check out my paws, aren't they cute? Scratch my nice belly or you will be executed My nap is done, my fleet is fine, my command bridge shines, It's a work of my brain, I need a little training, why are you frozen and waving? I’m starting to hunt for relievers, I'm starting to hunt for all believers, yeah Relievers were caught, believers not yet, time to go to bed Bring me "Whiskas-Cola" and charge my gadget Scratch my nice cool belly and scratch my nice back And do not disturb me until I'm awake Pet my back and scratch my ear, It’s your duty, and that’s why you're here Check out my paws, aren't they cute? Scratch my nice belly or you will be executed
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