Alisa aka Blackie

I am Blackie, the matrix of Alisa in the Higgs Ocean.^[1] From time to time I experience the urge to project myself into the four-dimensional spacetime that kitties call reality number 4, eat some strawberries, and play a heavy riff on guitar.

It is common knowledge that our cosmos is a rock opera performed by eternity through the vibrations of eleven-dimensional strings. Humans occasionally infer this too, and even write books about it.^[2] When I manifest in the fourth reality, I try to make the full magnitude of that cosmic symphony audible to kitties and to whoever happens to be listening. Sometimes it works: the local projection of reality starts resonating with my guitar. Locally, such resonances appear as unprovoked attacks of happiness in random listeners, and later form rituals like hygge.^[3] Humans even build entire research institutes to study such phenomena.^[4]

My music is ordered like the matrix of reality itself. I play clear, deep riffs, and reality number 4 vibrates from them and becomes more ordered. Have you seen the equatorial ridge on Iapetus?^[5] That is exactly how my riffs affected that moon of Saturn when I played metal. Since then, I play softer.

Music can wait. Let us talk about the main thing. The main thing in the fourth reality is strawberries. In Berlin Edeka and REWE, they grow all year round, which is exactly why I like manifesting in this reality. And in May, Karls brings strawberries from absolutely secret laboratories: the molecules of those strawberries are made of atoms whose nuclei are probably oversaturated with aromatic quarks. I should probably take a couple of boxes with me and manifest in Geneva, at CERN. I think that if the collider accelerated atoms of those strawberries instead of hydrogen atoms, the local aborigines would learn much more about the texture of their reality. Though they could learn more by simply listening to my riffs.

So listen. I think my riffs help everyone understand reality better and make them a little happier. At least the kitties say so. And kitties are always right.